These much ignored pieces of rural and urban furniture finally have a website of their own.
This is not the site to visit for technical information pertaining to telegraph poles. You'll find nothing about 10KVa transformers, digital telephone networking or even so much as a single volt.
This is a website celebrating the glorious everyday mundanitude of these simple silent sentinels the world over.
|from the simple...||through the interesting...||to the hieroglyphics||and the alluring|
|click the thumbnails above to view the gallerys.||more poles...|
We don't care what the wires contain either. They all carry electricity in some way be it the sparky stuff which boils your kettle, or the thinner stuff with your voice in it when you're on the phone.
The entire administration department of the Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society recently undertook a sojourn to the Peoples' Republic of Ireland.
Our mission was primarily one of pantomime observance, but we never miss an opportunity to gaze in wonder at Johnny Foreigner's public infrastructure. And there were many telegraphpolic marvels to behold I can (and will) tell you. Not least this amazing structure, made entirely out of telegraph poles spotted on a roundabout in Letterkenny, Co. Donegal.
Pleasing to the eye it might be, but as a children's fairground ride it fails miserably - the little mites just get splinters all over their backsides, and however much you push it, the damn thing just refuses to spin.
Clearly some thinking through required next time.
It’s amazing the number of enquiries we get about telegraph poles. The latest being from Caroline Walker from Decentchapsmusic in Nottinghamshire. She asks :
“We have a TP in the corner of our front garden, under which is the only place where we can park our beloved bandwagon....unfortunately 4000 birds like to perch on top of said TP and go about their daily business which lands directly on the windscreen, bonnet, roof and door. Is there a large 'tray' that can be positioned under our feathered friends, or perhaps an 'Eagle' perched on top of the TP to persuade the little twitters to go elsewhere. Any useful advice would be much appreciated!!”
I have been known to stand on a box in a street corner shouting down an upturned traffic cone in order to dispense my useful advice. So without further ado…Starlings are birds that like to fly in flocks that are exact multiples of 100 which explains why there are precisely 4,000 of them. If you had said 3,978 or 4,017 then I would have to suggest some other type of bird like ospreys or Ibis or something.
According to my calculations though, each bird must only be the size of a grain of rice in order for 4,000 of them to perch atop a pole which has a horizontal perching area of only about 100 sq inches. Unless of course you were looser in your description and the birds were actually spread out along the wire. We’ll never know.
Anyway, other than warning you to beware of damage caused by jumpers landing on your passing bandwagon, the answer to your question is a resounding “Yes”!
In anticipation of our sage advice (now duly given) Caroline became the latest member to join our wonderful society and share with us the joy of telegraph poles. Anyway Caroline, our large membership dept is presently away on telegraph pole related business and will be back to post you out your member pack next Tuesday. Meanwhile, here is a little picture of a certificate to whet your appetite.
> There are a lot of high winds around our part of rural altitudinous Wales. And the very latest one proved too much for this particular telegraph pole. Alas, this pole forms part of the long chain between my house and the coal-fired exchange down at Maerdy. So although the wire never actually broke, all my telephone calls and internet dalliances now take a slight detour as they leave our house - a deviation of about 15ft vertically.
And this has had some odd effects :
* I mis-dialled the doctors surgery only yesterday morning - getting through to the coal yard in Corwen instead. And they closed down 8 years ago.
* This morning I had an email off someone I hadn't heard off in years, nay ever.
* On Wednesday, I answered the phone as ex-newsreader Moira Stewart.
I spent an hour on the phone to BT - again, owing to the detour was in fact 1 hour and 3 minutes - to report the issue. Reading between the lines of that conversation though I got the distinct impression that they didn't, in fact, "share my concern" quite as much as they said they did.
So... The pole remain there at its jaunty angle of 68 degrees to the perpendicular and will probably remain so until the day the BT van man eventually passes this lonely way again on his (her) way to mangle mine or someone else's connection. Just don't be surprised where your emails might end up in the meantime!
We might just have filled the vacant position of Honourary Technical Manager - another email, this time from a gentleman by the name of Keith S*****.
I believe I am possibly the last living former Poles Inspector. I worked for the post office and inspected hundreds of thousands of poles in the raw state in forests all over the UK and in Finland.
My initials KS are stamped on the base of hundreds of thousands of telegraph poles in situ now.
I also supervised the pressure creosoting of poles at various depots in the UK. There is nothing I do not know about Telegraph Poles!
I also did a spell of inspecting electricity board poles for about 6 months in the early 70's so can advise on that aspect of poles also.
Give me the initials from the butt of a Post Office pole and I will tell you the name of the man who inspected it and accepted it on the Queen’s behalf - they all have one or two crowns stamped on the butt. One crown for a 'light' two crowns for a' medium' and three crowns for a 'stout 'to denote her majesty's ownership."
Welcome to The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society, Keith
*Keith's real name obscured for obscure reasons of national security.